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A Conversation

Writer's picture: Iona KrugerIona Kruger

During my first Italian class at Exeter, my classmates and I introduced ourselves in English, including our preferred pronouns. One classmate used they/them pronouns in their introduction, however, once we began speaking in Italian my teacher referred to my friend using she/her pronouns. Each time my teacher used the wrong pronouns, I flinched seeing the rightfully hurt look in my classmate’s eyes. As I flipped through our textbook looking for an alternative pronoun, I realized that the entire construct of Italian is based around gender agreement; even if my teacher used loro (they) instead of lei (she) the articles and nouns that followed are gendered regardless. After class, my teacher and I discussed how he had studied Italian, French, and Spanish for years and never reflected on this social dilemma within the Romance languages. We agreed that the world was changing and with it, our communication is too, no matter the language we are speaking. My gender is included in every language I study. This is not true for everyone. I cannot single-handedly change a globally accepted language, however, I can be responsible for helping my classmates feel included and respected despite the shortcomings of any language.

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